Can haz AK-47 Plz

Can feminists own guns?

Here are some slightly modified excerpts of a Facebook chat conversation between a former student of mine and me. The student has extensive military experience and gave me advice once about the Kid and the Marines. He also met the Kid once. This FB conversation was prompted by a speech in class delivered by a different student on the subject of AK-47s.

Me: Did I tell you what my niece told me about the Zombie Apocalypse?

Him: We always need new recruits for the apocalypse.

Me: She told me that she and her boyfriend actually discussed leaving me behind in the event of a Zombie Apocalypse. I would slow them down and impair them. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?

Him: That’s not right!

Me: I told her that, as a parent, it was my responsibility to throw myself on the zombie horde to give her extra escape time. You know what she said? “GUILT WILL NOT WORK!”

Him: Well, you know she has a good head on her shoulders, lol.

Me: I  just need an Uzi and I’ll be fine. You see my issue now.

Him: No, no, no. You will blow a lot of ammo with less accurate shots.

Me: An AK-47?

Him: You need a 9mm semi auto that is reliable…glock, M&P, sig sauer, but…that is your secondary, but your primary can be an AK. That is super reliable.

Me: I think my primary should be a nuke and my secondary should be a tank.

Him: Haha, okok, touche. I can go with nukes and tanks.

Me: I see you see my point.

Him: That’s the only point, lol.

Me: We’ll go Duke Nukem on their asses.

Him: Hahaha Duke Nukem was awesome!

[Deleted discussion of Duke Nukem….]

[Deleted discussion of various guns, NRA weapons training certification, and when lessons will commence.]

Him: Well I can acquire a few for you to try.

Me: Cool beans.

Him: I have a 9mm M&P Smith and Wesson

Me: That’s too cowboy. I want more aliens.

[Delete discussion of how real life is not like D&D, much to my dismay.]

Me: Don’t you have to be registered to buy one anyway?

Him: No, you are not required to register, but you do have to pass a background investigation.

Me: Oh…I don’t know if I can do that. We’ll just have to see.

Him: Do you have a felony?

Me: no.

Him: Restraining order?

Me: no.

Him: uhmmmm US Citizen?

Me: Yes.

Him: Ever renounce your citizenship?

Me: No.

Him: You should be good then.

Me: (posting to my wall) Can I own an AK-47 and still be a feminist?

Him: Being a feminist doesn’t disqualify you.

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