D&D Adventuring: Which other hand?

I had too many things in my hand today while sharing the elevator with a campus police officer. As I juggled my items in frustration, I had this conversation (or an artist’s rendition thereof):

Me: I need another hand.

Him: I know exactly what you mean. Especially the other day when I was trying to arrest this crazy lady. 

Me: It is a lot easier when you play Dungeons and Dragons.

Him: [crazy look my way]

Me: [not stopping for crazy look] Sometimes when you’re adventuring you say to your Dungeon Master, “I’m carrying my sword in one hand and my shield in the other. The Dungeon Master tells you it’s dark and asks what you’re using for light. You can try to fool him and say I’m carrying a lantern,but the DM always asks, what, in your third hand?”

Me and Him: [long awkward pause]

Me: You know…gun…flashlight…crazy lady… What do you do without your third hand?

Him: Sometimes you just have to bluff.

I don’t think he meant it the way I wanted him to mean it, but maybe he did.

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