My family culture
Families have cultures. Rules and roles, beliefs and values, habits and customs, these things form the unique reality of a family. One of the ways that families express their culture is through little communication rituals and idioms, phrases that make sense only in the context of the family, and perhaps close friends who get to observe the family in the wild. I often reflect on my family idioms (from my current family, not the clusterfuck of my family of origin). I find them charming and endearing and overwhelmingly cutesy. Of course, those dark idioms exist as well, but let’s not go there.
Most of our idioms revolve on the cats and my niece, Willow. Some are shared in the dyadic coalitions that form among the three of us. Many come in and out of fashion from time to time, and some die off, never to return, except during bittersweet recollections.
Willowisms — idioms derived from Willow herself, either because she said them and we perpetuate them, or because we use them in reference to her:
1. The wrong/wrong/right game.
Steve: “Willow/Laura/Steve…. wrong/wrong/right.”
Willow: “Steve/Laura/Willow…wrong/right/right.”
Repeat until giggling or angry outbursts ensue.
2. The stages of Willow’s life:
The Tiny Willow Girl (5-9 or 10).
Tween, Not a Teen (tween ages).
The Niece (no longer a “Tiny Willow Girl” or a “Tween not a Teen”).
3. Things Willow said as a child that we still say:
babysuit – bathing suit
I heered something – I heard something
Hocapontas – Pocahontas
Panna-cakes – Pancakes (deprecated)
See-REE-al – Cereal (deprecated)
Catisms - Things related to the cats.
1. Idioms:
The Blue Cat, aka Blue – Real name: Shadda. Part lilac point cat.
The Pooch Cat, aka Pooch, aka Pooch Kitty – Real name: PachDu’, Klingon for claws. Willowism: “Pach Pooch.” Thus, The Pooch Cat. Also, she has some dog-like qualities.
“He’s a fat blue cat” (repeated extensively).
“Furry furry pooch cat” (repeated extensively).
Parking – holding the covers up like a garage door so the Pooch Cat can crawl under.
Filling the bowls – Feeding the cats.
2. Daily Steve (my husband) questions regarding the cats:
Are the cats cost centers? Or profit centers?
Should we trade The Pooch Cat in for a newer model? Is she replaceable?
Is he big? Is he furry? Is he fat? (regarding, yes, you guessed it, The Blue Cat)
What contribution has The Pooch Cat/The Blue Cat made to the household today?
Do the cats have a place on the life raft? Is there room for the cats on the life raft?
Nicknames
The Girl – me
The Boy – my husband
The Niece – Willow
The Aunt – Me
Note: We do not say ‘your aunt,” or “your niece.” We say “the aunt,” or “the niece.” As in, “Go give this to the aunt.”
Other Games (mostly deprecated)
1. The Willowburger game
When crossing a bridge, Willow is thrown over the rail as a burger for alligators.
2. Alien Robot (entirely too hard to describe)
3. The “whose job” game:
Variation 1: The Movies
Steve: “Whose job is it to buy the movie tickets?”
Me: “Yours.”
Steve: “Whose job is it to watch the movie?”
Me: “Mine.”
Variation 2: The Groceries
Steve: “Whose job is it to buy the groceries?”
Me: “Yours.”
Steve: “Whose job is it to eat the groceries?”
Me: “Mine.”
Variation 3: The Presents
Steve: “Whose job is to buy the Christmas presents?”
Me: “Yours”
Steve: “Whose job is it to get the Christmas presents?”
Me: “Mine.”
Top three Willow stories:
1. Green projectile vomiting during the Caspar movie (a thick, frothy, viscous combination of wheat grass juice and soda).
2. Rebellious tween postcard, all black, placed at adult eye level on the door.
3. Shouting “Stop fringing on me!” when I explained to Steve that she felt he was infringing on her time with me.
