CDs are obsolete.

By the time I got my first CD player and my first CD, back in 1985, CDs were already obsolete. Now, if you think about that, that’s just about the dumbest lie ever I ever told you. In 1985, however, the third generation of CD players were on the market already, and CD-ROM drives were released. From there, it’s a downhill slide to Napster, Kazaa, and DVDs. It’s inevitable, teleological.

My computer is in the shop. I’m getting a DVD write drive installed. That’s already obsolete.

I’m moving offices from one room to the other at home…moving into the bigger bedroom, right? And so tonight I’m throwing out my CD player. It’s old. Crappy. Still works. But crappy. Get it? Obsolete.  In demand of upgrade. The lifespan of a fruit fly is built in to the genetic code, I’m sure of it.

From Purple Rain (Prince; 1984):

The Compact Disc Digital Audio System offers the best possible sound reproduction – on a small convenient disc. Its remarkable performance is the result of a unique combination of digital storage and laser optics.

From The Other Side of Life (Moody Blues; 1986):

The Compact Disc Digital Audio System offers the best possible sound reproduction – on a small convenient sound-carrier unit.

The Compact Disc’s superior performance is the result of laser-optical scanning combined with digital playback, and is independent of the technology used in making the original recording.

This recording technology is identified on the back cover by a three-letter code:

DDS — Digital tape recorder used during the session recording, mixing and/or editing, and mastering (transcription).

ADD — Analogue tape recorder used during session recording; digital tape recorder used during subsequent mixing and/or editing during mastering (transcription).

AAD Analogue tape recorder used during session recording and subsequent mixing and/or editing; digital tape recorder used during mastering (transcription).

Now, surely there’s some sort of Kabbalistic code in here, but who can decipher it? Maybe the answer is just pi.

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